"I'm not one of those mad people who need you.
I just want to make love. Make love, that's all."
A
renovated Medieval castle is now home to a clinic for lonely, mildly
depressed women who spend their days playing croquet and their nights
writhing naked in their beds half-asleep, flashing back to mundane
moments of the past eight hours. Some of the patients include: Ruth
(Gioia Desideri), whose husband unceremoniously drops her at the curb
before speeding off, who compulsively twirls her hair; Cheryl (Margaret
Lee) who, during her stay, has fallen in love with Doctor Frances Clay
(Klaus Kinski); Anne (Rosalba Neri), a nymphomaniac who throws herself
at the handsy gardener; Mara (Jane Garret), a troubled amnesiac who
forms a special, close relationship with foxy ginger Nurse Ellen (Monica
Strebel). Oh, and there's a killer murdering people.
Holy. Crap. This movie is crazy town banana pants.
It is... I just... There's no...
It is... I just... There's no...
What the Hell am I Watching?
Okay.
Literally every single moment in this movie will have you asking "what
the hell am I watching?" You'll have to pick your jaw up off the floor
at the end and wonder if you didn't just experience some sort of manic
fever dream. The camera work, score, and editing are completely
unsubtle. Every scene is just a little too long and the movie could
have clocked in at under hour if they'd eliminated all the meaningless
flashbacks. The story is non-existent – it's pretty much just soft-core
porn, punctuated by a few murder scenes. The best I can do is summarize
some key moments:
The
castle itself is decorated with Medieval weapons and torture
devices. Possibly not the most comforting, stress-free atmosphere for
patients in a delicate emotional state. It is handy for the killer,
though, who can stroll into
the building, take his leisurely time selecting a weapon, kill someone,
and then put the bloody weapon back in place before walking out the
front door.
The
main subplot of the movie is the relationship between Nurse Ellen and
patient Mara. It starts out benign – Ellen takes a professional interest
in Mara, gaining trust and becoming a friend to the troubled woman.
Nothing odd there, it's all just part of the therapy. Later, Ellen gives
Mara a massage (spending a conspicuously long time on the upper thighs). Just another part
of her duties as a nurse. That night, Ellen walks in on Mara taking a
bath, so she strips to her underwear, and gently daubs Mara's chestal area with a
sponge. Again, it's part of the job. And she didn't want to get her
uniform wet. After that, they go to the bedroom, dance to the radio,
make out, get naked, and share some grownup time. That's where she may
have crossed an ethical line.
If you've ever longed to see a scene that fuses elements of Silkwood and Flashdance,
you're in luck. There's a moment where Anne cries in a hot shower while
flinging herself dramatically against the walls. It's not so much "what
am I watching?" as it is "why are they showing me this and why is it
taking so long?"
Late
at night, the asylum's chauffeur (by the way: this asylum has a
chauffeur) sneaks into the lounge to finish the leftover drinks. It's a
cute, funny moment. For some reason, he then walks over to the iron
maiden in the corner and opens it. Of course, the killer shoves him in
and closes it shut, impaling the driver on the metal spikes inside. What
in the world would compel him to walk over and open the thing in the
first place?
There's a bizarre moment where Kinski walks head-first straight into the camera.
The
doctors at this clinic are as incompetent as most giallo police. When
the police finally do arrive, though, they one-up the doctor's idiocy by
concocting a plan to use Cheryl as bait to catch the killer.
This
movie has the worst mystery I've ever seen. If you're paying any
attention at all, you'll have no problem guessing the identity of the
killer within ten minutes.
In the end, it takes 14 gunshots at extremely close range to take down the killer.
In the end, it takes 14 gunshots at extremely close range to take down the killer.
Most giallo sets are decorated with amateurish 1970's abstract art. The lobby of the clinic in Slaughter Hotel features three paintings by Joan MirĂ³. Go figure.
Fashion Moment
Oversexed Anne slinks around the hospital in this revealing little number:
Rumor has it that Rosalba Neri was cast specifically to fill out this outfit.
Also, the killer is bringing capes back.
Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic however I'd figured I'd ask.
ReplyDeleteWould you be interested in exchanging links or maybe
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I look forward to hearing from you! Fantastic blog by the way!